Lately
I’m starting to realize that my existence thus far has been a long
drawn-out quest for Self-Love. Up until 3 years ago, I didn’t have a
clue what Self-Love is, but ever since I found the courage to plunge
into my artist dream by organizing my first solo exhibition, I’m
learning a little more about how my previous perceptions of Self-Love
are far from accurate. It would take another entire blog post to define
what Self-Love is and isn’t, and I don’t believe I’m at the right place
to shed some light on that at this time. Instead, I’ll share a few of my
realisations and ways to show yourself a little love every day!
1) Exercise regularly
I
used to tell myself that I’m not an athlete, that I suck at sports, and
exercising is something simply not for me. I remember back when I was
in secondary school and we had to be tested on our physical fitness and
based on their standards I barely passed every single year. I hated it. I
hated being the person who comes in last at the end of a 2.4km run. I
hated that as much as I tried I couldn’t push myself to be faster or to
hang on longer and beat my own personal record (which everyone else was
beating easily). To be honest I was quite resigned about the state of my
physical fitness and instead of trying to work at it regularly and get
better, I told myself I was simply not athletic and will never be that
way.
For the past 2 months I’ve been working out an exercise habit
(pun intended). I jog about 3-5km twice a week, and I have a routine of
strengthening exercises that I get on almost every day. Sure it was
tough at first, and in the beginning I could barely do 20 push-ups (with
my knees to the ground), but now I can do 50 at one go and I can run
5km without stopping for a little over 30 minutes. It may not seem like
much to most people, but for someone who typecast herself as the
not-athletic sort and would never be so, it’s definitely been a
lifestyle improvement.
2) Follow a healthy diet system that works for your life
From
all the dieting fads out there that I’ve attempted and read about, I've
learnt one very important thing: If you want to have a healthy diet,
it’s really about finding a system that will work for your life. So if
you decide to do 5-6 small meals a day but your daily schedule is always
irregular and you keep missing your meal times, find another system
that complements your schedule. Or if you’re not good with details, then
counting calories would be a bad idea. Ultimately you want to find a
system that is easy to follow and incorporate in your life, and that
will help A LOT with building the discipline you need to sustain it.
For
myself, Intermittent Fasting (IF) has been the most effective so far.
IF is based on the premise that you go without food for an extended
period of time (fasts), such that your body can finish burning off the
carbs you’ve accumulated from your meals and start burning your fat
reserves. So my eating window is from 10.30am to 8.30pm daily, and
during my fasts I drink only water. There are, of course, the occasional
days where I catch up with friends over supper or later-at-night drinks
but generally I keep this pattern 5-6 days a week. IF works for me
because it’s a very easy system to follow, and it has allowed me to curb
my bad habit of snacking late at night (which is probably how I’ve
gained weight in recent years haha).
3) Do something that tests your limits (ie. outside your comfort zone)
You’ve
probably come across this saying: “Do one thing every day that scares
you.” Some people may wonder why anyone would want to do that - like
isn’t life difficult enough as it is; why add on more stress? However,
it's only when you push your limits that you get to see what you are
made of. Adversity in life is inevitable, and even if your life is
generally smooth sailing, you'll never know what kind of shit will hit
your fan. So I believe it's better to intentionally test your limits and
rise to the challenge way before life forces you unexpectedly into a
chaotic situation.
Earlier this year, as part of a program on
leadership, I completed a marathon hike of 46km... TWICE in one weekend.
Fortunately for me I had started hiking from an adventure trip in the
U.S. I did earlier in 2012, so I was already somewhat physically adapted
to walking long distances. Or so I thought. Little did I know that with
long distance hikes, it goes beyond testing your physical limits. It
reaches a point where getting through it depends on your ability to
persevere one painful step at a time, and how you can support your team
mates to ensure they get to finish line together with you.
4) Pick up a new skill or hone an existing one
Off
a similar vein, learning a new skill not only tests your limits, but
also expands your perspectives and general knowledge. As an untrained
artist, I've been drawing and painting in my own way, and it's resulted
in somewhat of a recognizable style but it has its limits. Hence I
decided to really work on my drawing skills and follow a structure as
taught by mentor. Since we started 2 months ago, I've finished 3 classic
books on drawing and suddenly all the basic principles of drawing which
I intuitively somehow knew before just totally made sense.
5) Spend an hour with yourself by yourself every day
When
you meet the most awesome boy or the most beautiful girl and they love
you back, you want to spend time with them, getting to know them better
and connecting with them. Well, your self is no different from your
romantic partner; in fact, your self is more important than your partner
because partners will inevitably leave you (when the relationship or
one of you dies), but you will be with you for the rest of your life. So
isn't it worth the investment to spend time connecting with yourself
and getting to know yourself better?
I try to incorporate an hour
of self-time daily, and I've noticed that on the days I do spend that
time, I'm more connected to my larger vision for my life, and clearer
about what I need to work on in the short term to better position myself
for the long run. Usually I spend the hour journaling for about 30
minutes, which really helps to sort out my thoughts and reflect upon
what's going on in my life. The rest of the time I have a chat with
myself and make sure I'm clear about my goals, or sometimes I fold in
exercise time and go for a jog.
6) Journal first thing when you wake up
When
you wake up, your mind is fresh and ready to kick start your day. But
many people spend their mornings rushing to get to work, checking their
emails or Facebook updates, reading the newspaper.. and basically not
making the most of this critical time to set the right tone for the
whole day. When you first wake up, your mind has spent the whole sleep
time sorting out what happened the day before - your learnings and
lessons, your emotional state, and sometimes you get dreams that still
linger for a little while. Journaling in the morning helps to align
oneself such that all these thoughts can be integrated, in order to
bring you clarity for the new day's work according to your bigger goals.
I
first came across this concept when I worked through Julia Cameron's
"The Artist's Way". She called it the Morning Pages, where as creatives
we need to spend 20-30 minutes each morning writing at least 3 pages.
I've gotten many creative ideas while practicing these Morning Pages,
and especially now that I'm getting into the habit of blogging weekly,
these journals have been a way to track the current themes in my life
and my learnings and realizations. In fact, this blog post was birthed
from my recent journaling and recorded realizations.
7) Get enough sleep and make sure you end your day such that you maximize those sleeping hours
I'm
not going to say what's "enough" sleep, because that's really up to you
to figure out what's enough for you. Only you can know how much energy
you need for all your tasks so plan your sleep accordingly to make sure
you get through each day in the best possible manner. What I do want to
stress is the importance of winding down intentionally. Which means
scheduling your sleeping hours just like any other appointment or task
in your day and sticking to it. Not only that, it’s also about
completing your evening such that when you get into bed, it’s really
about lying down, closing your eyes and going to sleep and not to
continue working on something until you fall asleep.
So
there you have it, some of the ways to love yourself daily such that
you can get closer to achieving your goals in life! If you have other
suggestions on ways to love yourself, feel free to comment below, or
send them to me at penguingirlart@gmail.com. Have a great week everyone,
and remember to FLY (First Love Yourself)!
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