Letting go.

"Baggage" (2013), acrylic and mixed media on canvas, 8x8 in.

With the recent (maybe not so recent anymore) showing of Disney's "Frozen", the words "let it go" have become pretty popular, and pretty much a hit song. What a great message though.. and I feel the music industry needs to churn out more of such music, but this really isn't a post about that.

As human beings, we have a lot of baggage in our lives. There's the physical junk like the dress you haven't worn in like 10 years which you still believe you will fit into someday or the style will come back into fashion. There's emotional pain of recent fights with a loved one, or from the conclusion of a romance. There's the stuff we constantly worry about - how to pay our bills, are our kids gonna be safe, wanting to change your past etc. that keep our minds occupied.. Whatever it is for you, we all have it, and we have many many of it. The thing about baggage though, is that it keeps us stuck, and when we're stuck, we're unable to move forward or rise up to something bigger and greater, or to grow into someone better than we currently are.

So how do we let these things go? For each of your baggage, try the following steps:

1. Examine what the baggage is really about.

When we have baggage, it isn't actually the baggage that we can't let go of, but the attachment we have towards it. Why are you holding on to that holey t-shirt from high school, or the smelly old pillow from your childhood? Look deeper beneath the surface reasons and see what the attachment really is. What emotions are there, and who or what brings these emotions up?

I know break-ups can be painful (I've been through a few myself.. ouch), and of course you can take some time to grieve, but when you're ready to move on.. Take a step back from yourself and look at the relationship objectively. What were the expectations of both parties that were not met? Why were you so bothered by your ex-partner's certain characteristics? Often times our reactions towards our partner's behavior has more to do with our own preferences and expectations that are not met. Really take a look at what is there for you.

Write your discoveries, thoughts and feelings out in a journal.

2. Acknowledge the truth about this baggage.

After you've taken a more objective look at what your baggage is really about, be present to this truth that you've uncovered about your attachment and about yourself. If emotions come up, let them flow, but stay aware to your thought process and don't indulge in the feelings. Acknowledge what it is that keeps you holding on to the baggage, and the aspects of yourself that make it difficult to let go. Really see it for what it is.

3. Choose powerfully to put it aside and let it go.

When you've examined what the baggage is about and acknowledged how it affects you, it's time to set it aside and let it go. Ask yourself, now that I know what this baggage is about, why would I still want to hold onto it? If there are still reasons, it means there's more to examine and you can go back and repeat the steps. Alternatively, you can just accept that there is more to examine at a later time, but you are okay with letting some of it go at the moment.

Letting go is a choice. If you find yourself unwilling to let go, examine and acknowledge what this unwillingness is about.

Letting go is a process, and it may take a few rounds of examining, acknowledging and choosing to let go before some of your larger baggage is resolved.  Don't be so hard on yourself if you have a difficult time, but keep on digging to see what the attachment is really about. And seek help from a professional if you need it :) But remember that avoiding the baggage doesn't make it go away, and that letting go is necessary if you want to FLY!